This is so depressing I can’t believe I wrote it.

Calling your name from the street below
The 3rd floor apartment you call your home
Over and over but too much has changed
Now everything’s gone and there’s nothing left to gain

The neighbours are screaming
I can’t stop the bleeding
I need to find you
Cos I’ve lost all my meaning
Of right or wrong
Wrong or right
Out of mind
Or out of sight?

Here on the outside isn’t so pretty
The pavement whore doesn’t get much pity
Cheap coloured darkness doesn’t ease the pain
Now everything’s gone and there’s nothing left to gain

You can’t stop lying
But you can’t start trying
I need to get out
Cos my last hope’s dying
Right or wrong?
Wrong or right?
Out of mind?
Or out of sight?

I can’t have you in my life but I don’t want you to leave.

Washing you out of my life
But please keep a watch on me from close by
Look out the window through the pouring rain
Think I can hear you screaming my name
Being this near to you drives me insane
Close distance loneliness causes too much pain.

Scratch that, wipe it clean, let’s start over again
You think the ‘I’m a pleb’ routine wins you back a friend
Scream FUCK YOU at the dialling tone, it’s too much to bear
But what’s even worse is pretending I don’t care
Holding back these unknown feelings isn’t much to gain
Cos my close distance loneliness is causing too much pain

My Paper Heart

We throw paper hearts just because we can
And we don’t expect you to understand,
So hush now darling, it’s all just a game,
We never knew broken until you came.

We throw paper hearts just to hear you scream,
Although girl, hell knows where you’ve been.
We’ll crush that hurting heart inside,
The need for love behind those eyes.

We throw paper hearts just so we can smile
We know it only takes a while
Pleasure in pain doesn’t come this far
We can’t let you see who we are

I Don’t Fit and I Don’t Rhyme Properly

Sometimes at night I think I hear you dreaminng next to me
I look across and find no you but white expanse of bedsheet
Fear of the unknown
And the feelings you give
But I don’t wanna let you go
Oh no
But everytime I close my eyes
I see your face behind the lies.
I miss you goes unsaid
Like the doubts inside her head
I’m one step away from
Another crap decision, from
Another light tempation, from
Another hesitation, from
Another not-so-happy-ending.

Untitled

All it takes is three little words
To crash and burn or
Hold up high
What we feel inside
‘But I don’t want any other…’
From one extreme to another
But you can’t take the hate
The heartbreak or the ache
So don’t pretend you feel the same
Cos everyone knows about your little game

I Strongly Dislike You

The tangled mass of hair on your pillow
Bed linen stained with mascara
It’s only a faint reminder of what you had
Sit up get up wake up
Believe what you see
Stop counting on me
It’s not gonna work
Not this time
Perfection isn’t an option.
You left me just an empty shell
And now I’m ANGRY
Can you tell?

Dont Touch Me

Turned heads, tilted tables
Sideways glances
Nothing left to say
So please be sure to look this way
I look better on paper
Than I do in the mirror
Now’s the time for honesty
I am truly myself when I’m with you
And I only wish you could say it too

Tell it like it is
Like these words are yours to tell
Yeah that’s right
Every aspirin for every missing aspiration
Let’s just cover it up
Pretend like you never happened
Pretend like every night I’m crying tears of joy
Just keep smiling baby
And it’ll all go away

I Don’t Like This Poem

It’s like that film you always watch
Where the ending still seems to surprise you
You’ve seen it happen a thousand times
By now heartbreak isn’t unfamiliarity
Yeah heartbreak isn’t unfamiliarity

You told me it would be forever
You said you loved me ‘really really’
You told me it was real this time
You said we would last, baby wait and see
Yeah you told me just to wait and see

And maybe I was the one who changed
And maybe I’m the one whose to blame
But it still feels like I’m naiive little Phi
And you told me that’s why you loved me
Yeah you told me that’s why you loved me

Then one day when I held your hand
You looked at the floor and pulled away
So i called you up and tried to understand
And you told me it would get better today
Yeah you told me it would be okay today

I walked in brazen, full of smiles
Thinking it would be like you said
But who was I to think you were different?
Empty words from your not so empty head
Yeah those empty words from your not so empty head

If you told me you still loved me
And even if you came today
Begging for your second chance
I know I’d tell you there’s no way
Yeah I think I’d tell you there’s no way…

Never Enough

Close your eyes
And we’ll pretend
It’s just us here
Alone again
You brushed my tears
And kissed me gently
We knew that
Was more than friendly

So hold me tight
Don’t tell me no
I’ll take your hand
I won’t let go
I’ll watch your smile
And stroke your cheek
So don’t say
You feel incomplete

?

I’ll chase after these feelings
In one brutal attempt to tie them down
Take a stab at the meaning
Of this throbbing desire
To find only empty air
And unanswered questions
And the weight of
Undiscovered romance
Still lingering in the dark